Underwear and Sippy Cups

Eli's been in underwear all weekend and only one accident. His friend Harrison came over on Friday night, showing off his tighty whitey's and it was all over. Eli decided that he was finished with diapers. I am definitely looking forward to cutting out diaper bill in half, but not to spending extra time in public restrooms. Nolah's meeting her own milestones lately - drinking from a sippy cut, saying "Mama" and "Dada" at the appropriate times, responding when we tell her "no" (most of the time), and eating anything we put in front of her. Yesterday, she had blueberries, avacados, peas and raspberries for dinner. This morning, I dug scrambled eggs that had fallen onto the floor out of her mouth (she found them next to the dishwasher and helped herself). We had another laid back weekend. Celebrated TGIF with the Baker's, complete with Key Lime Pie martinis with graham cracker rims, quinoa salad, and bbq salad. Saturday I was suffering with allergies again, but Eli and I returned his library books, and picked out some more. We also used our 33% off coupon at Border's (The Mennonite in a little Black Dress). Erich restocked our house with groceries and worked on the garden. Sunday, we met friends at Kensington Metro Park. They have a great petting zoo there. We saw newborn pigs and the biggest rabbit I've ever seen in my life. Then we biked and looked for turtles in the nature center. Lots of fun.

DHS office

So I've been spending my days at the Redford DHS office, sometimes referred to as the "welfare office" by people outside of line of work. It's literally one of the most depressing places I've ever seen - located at the end of an essentially abandoned strip mall behind a weedy parking lot on the corner of Inkster and Plymouth. There's lots of pregnant teenagers (and some I hope are teenagers but don't possibly look old enough to be in high school), lots of obese people wearing club clothes, men and women with several children in tow - enough to be mistaken as a daycare, and plenty of dilapidated vehicles in the parking lot. Now I'm not putting these people down - not at all. I'm somebody who can see the humanity and life behind every individual and situation; otherwise, I'd never be able to do what I do. I just wanted to comment that I've done things in my life that have proven to be devastating for others - unplanned pregnancy, impulsive spending, drinking more than I should, burning bridges that need not be burned, job hopping, quitting jobs out of nothing more than frustration (etc). Fortunately, my circumstances in life have been such that there has been a safety net, or a stroke of luck, which has led me to where I am today. Had my circumstances been different, my choices may have led me directly to the Redford DHS office - and not as a trainee.

On a brighter note, Eli and Erich took Leyland to the vet's this evening for shots/heartworm testing (results are pending). To my horror, I discovered that he has not been getting heartworm medicine all summer and, with our house backing up to the mosquito infested woods, well...my fears are obvious. Erich came home frustrated that "Eli behaved worse than Leyland" at the vet's office (as if Leyland frequently misbehaves in public). I don't like making excuses for my kid's behavior, but he DID skip his nap at daycare tonight, and he fell asleep in the middle of Horton Hears a Who, which is highly unusual since he loves reading multiple books at night. I made Salmon En Croute and herbed mashed potatoes, both of which he rejected in the form of having a complete temper fit on the kitchen floor. Erich and I and totally divided about the eating issue. I'm of the camp that he can have a bowl of cereal or a sandwich if he doesn't like what I've cooked (what toddler enjoys salmon???). Erich would prefer he starve if he doesn't like what's being served, and went as far as announcing to our children that "Mama's a pushover" tonight at the dinner table out of frustration. It was amusing to me because he's usually the first to give in to any sort of tantrum. I'm realizing more and more what an excellent father he is. He's so patient with the kids (if it doesn't involve dinnertime), and includes Eli on whatever it is he's working on. The other day, I was on the phone with him and was getting frustrated with Eli because he was insisting on putting his HUGE plastic, ride-on giraffe on top of the couch. I was getting increasingly irritated with Eli, and engaging in a complete power struggle over the placement of the toy. Erich said: "You need to give him a place to put it and tell him that's the 'special spot' for his giraffe." Low and behold - it worked. Great social work intervention from Erich. Who would have thought?

Zyrtec

I am writing this with 22 pounds of baby girl (finally!) asleep on my chest. She has been waving bye bye and playing peek-a-boo, which is obviously adorable. Unfortunately, I'm laid up on allergy medication. I don't take it unless I'm absolutely miserable, but the mold must be blooming with all of this humidity. The weekend wasn't a total bust though. Eli, Nolah & I spent Friday night at the Frankenmuth Motor Lodge/Bavarian Inn Lodge with Jenelle and Andersen. The kids loved the pool, and Jenelle and I got to catch up over vodka on the balcony after the kids were in bed. We walked to breakfast at T-Dub's the next morning after a 6:00 am wake-up call from Nolah and ended up being caught in what can only be described as a monsoon on the walk back to the hotel. The kids and I couldn't have been any more wet had we jumped into the pool. Afterwards, the kids and I went out to Murphy Lake for a couple hours to see the Baker's and Lance. We got back to Canton just in time to get the kids in jammies and ship them to daycare, which does a "parent's night" once a month. Erich and I had three blissful hours to ourselves. After dinner at Bahama Breeze (almond crusted salmon, sea scallops, mojitos), we got a table at Grape Expectations, a wine bar in Plymouth where we've been several times. Today is disgustingly hot and humid - Erich and Eli are installing a new faucet in the upstairs bathroom while I sleep off my allergy medication. Homeade pizza for dinner I think...lots of herbs and vegetables in the garden to play with.

Milk and Books and Feel your Hair

Tonight when I went upstairs to tuck Eli in, he had three simple requests: "Mama, I want some milk, AND read books AND let me feel your hair." All three wishes were granted. To clarify, he likes to run my pony tail between his fingers when he is tired or overwhelmed. He is absolutely precious. I got out of my training (I'm going through the State mandated foster care worker training in Redford at the moment) early today and could have had three hours to myself. Instead, I drove to go get my babies at daycare. Nolah weighs about 5 pounds less than her brother, and is an absolute joy as usual. She is going through this kind of frustrating phase of having a complete meltdown whenever I get outside of a 5 foot radius from her. I sometimes pick her up and ask her if she wants to go see her Daddy. She clutches on to me, buries her head into my shoulder, and smirks at Erich as if to say, "Just try to take me from my mama." My kids drive me nuts pretty much every day but I love them to pieces. Have had babies on my mind a lot lately and am starting to think about a third child. Part of me feels guilty - I already have my boy and my girl so why fix what's not broken. On the other hand, I am really not getting the sense that our family is complete.

Will I Ever get to Sleep?

Lots of summer fun but the consequence is that I'm more tired than I have ever been. It's not a "I stayed up too late last night" kind of tired, but the type of exhaustion that happens over time after compounding nights of little or no sleep over weeks and months. It started with Chris and Caleb's birthday party last weekend, which Alicia and I co-hosted. So - much - fun! Lots of chocolate cake, s'mores by the bonfire, margaritas, a half barrel, and brats on the grill. Eli had a great time with Caleb's nieces, and our friend's little girl. The set-up and clean-up were pretty overwhelming though, and Nolah wakes up at 6:00 am whether I make it to bed at 9:00 pm or 2:00 am that night. I started another training through Department of Human Services this week, which means a full time work schedule. Normally, I show up to work when I can get there, which is sometimes not 'til 10:30ish. Not this month - I need to check in to the training sites in Redford or Detroit by 9:00 am sharp. Our old Turkish-German exchange student, Can, is visiting Frankenmuth with his friend, Robin, for several weeks. I met up with them after work on Tuesday at Greektown and we had dinner, went to the Tiger's game (etc) until quite late. Had to make a trip back to Saginaw the next day for training...and the list goes on and on. Erich has school and work obligations more evenings than not lately and it is beyond words how difficult it is to feed, bathe and put to bed Eli and Nolah without any help, particularly after a full work day. So....sigh. Someday I will resume my 7 hour a night regime...someday.

Drop & Dash

We did the drop and dash today. I had court and Erich had a "stop ship" (apparently an emergency in the automotive manufacturing world). Eli had a temperature and was altogether cranky, but we had no choice but to take him to daycare, give him a kiss, and slink out, hoping that nobody would notice his glassy eyes. I called to check on him immediately after court and was told that he was listless and felt warm, so immediately went to pick him up. I took him to urgent care, where he was diagnosed with a mild ear infection. The medication kicked in right away and he was feeling much better. He went into my office with me to take care of some urgent matters, then we went out to lunch at Chili's (although he objected: "Chili's is gross, Mom.") Then we shopped at JoAnne's to get material for Nolah's Halloween costume. It's amazing to me how well behaved he is when he is away from Nolah, and how easy it is to deal with just one child...it's not just half the work, it's somehow a mere fraction of the work. Speaking of fractions, I'm still challenged to figure out how to live on a fraction of our old income now that I'm working part-time and we're paying through the nose for daycare. I'm very proud of my accomplishments this week though. When we were out of cleaning solution, I mixed vinegar, water and Borax, and cleaned the entire downstairs. Tonight, I created a completely edible meal out of half a box of macaroni, frozen ground venison from the freezer, handfulls of oregano, basil and fennel from the garden, a can of tomato sauce from the pantry, and half a container of ricotta that needed to be used up - seriously, delicious. Three years ago, this scenario would have qualified as "there's nothing in the house to eat" and we would have been hightailing it to Bahama Breeze for cubans and cocktails.

My Dog Ate my Blog

This is exactly what I feared - I would get caught up in other things and not make time to keep up with my family blog. I had a bit of a life changing event last night though. I met with new clients which included a ten year old girl who witnessed her mother's murder at the hands of her father within the past year. I really can't imagine too much that's worse than that. The girl's grandmother (and mother of murder victim) gave me a little card with a picture on it that described her daughter - how she did her own plumbing and home improvement projects, how she cooked great meals and how her children were both 4.0 students. It just wasn't enough...I found myself wanting to know so much more about this person, who was victimized by domestic violence, but also had an entire history outside of the victimization. So I hope to be able to record a little more of my family history - as mundane as it is. But I also want to say this: I rarely encounter a family or an individual who has not experienced domestic violence, abuse, (etc) in some capacity. A lot of that has to do with the type of work I do, but a lot of it doesn't. I just want to say that it's still going strong, and it's still primarily women who are being victimized - it's not just something that used to happen in the 60's. I'd like to think society has moved beyond the "Why doesn't she just leave?" mentality but I'm still encountering things that tell me that that's not necessarily true. Why don't we address this more often in school? We address preventing pregnancy, and teach CPR, and require a semester of health education. I have to think that teaching high schoolers about resources and teaching boys about acceptable behavior in a relationship must be just as critical.