Pictures

Back to work today after my nearly two week "strike." Ugggg...having such an attitude problem about it too. Would much rather hang out with Eli and Nolah. Erich's recruiting schedule at U of M has been relentless. After arriving home at 6:30 pm last night, he immediately went upstairs to check updates on the computer while I attempted to referee two toddlers during spaghetti & meatball night all by myself. Needless to say, I was not pleased....but it will be more of the same tonight and all the ones that follow until about mid-December. We were supposed to get the carpet cleaned yesterday. But after waiting all afternoon for the cleaners to arrive, I finally checked my cell phone and discovered a voicemail saying that they had been there and left because "nobody was home." I literally burst out crying from frustration. The only thing I can think of is that they may have arrived while I was outside playing with the kids. Our weekend was good. Eli and I shopped all morning on Sunday for Nolah's birthday party. We went everywhere - Ikea, the Dollar General, JoAnn's, Target, Kohl's...he was so good. I brought him home to eat pizza and was heading out the door to go to my aunt's house in Chelsea. "Mom," he said, "make sure you don't drive super fast unless the police are chasing you." Verbatim, I'm not kidding. So I went to Chelsea and learned how to operate my new camera. Very cool. Have been capturing lots of kid pictures, including some good shots of last night's spaghetti and meatball fiasco. Naked kids covered in marinara always make great shots.

Back of my Head

I saw the back on my head on the news last night! I helped run my agency's booth at the Kinship Festival in Detroit, which is an adoption fair for people interested in older/special needs adoptions, and kids who are available for adoption. News reporters came, and when they panned the room, there I was! Exciting stuff :) The Bakers came over last night (and brought burgers cooked by my favorite chef, Ryan) and it was fun seeing Eli and Harrison playing so well together in the sandbox. Sylvia, their 5 month old, is delightful. Her entire face lights up when she smiles. I can't wait until she and Nolah can play together. Nolah's new thing is walking on her knees...she rarely crawls, and hasn't yet taken more than a couple of steps on her town. But she can practically run on her knees - and many times she claps and/or dances while doing it. It's hilarious to watch.

Monster Attack

Nolah's been taking some steps on her own and has her very first shiner to show for it. It happened this week at my parent's house, and involved the corner of a coffee table - ouch! Eli has some more minor injuries - a couple mosquito bites and a random scratch. He has claimed that his "boo boos" are due to shark bites, crab pinchers, and a monster attack. Interesting. In other news, both kids had their Well Child appointments last week. They're healthy enough - Nolah weighing in at the 85th percentile and Eli's height down in the 11th (I've been asked twice now if they're twins). And even though the 11th percentile is really not much deviated from the average than the 85th, the doctor is a little concerned that Eli hasn't really grown much at all in the past 6 months. So he's earned himself a referral to a pediatric nutritionist and endocrinologist at U of M. It's not something I like to discuss because, even though my conscience is clear, there are people in my life to love to assign blame at the slightest health issue that any child faces. The following are assertions I've heard in the past two years: My good friend's child had colic because she didn't gain enough weight during her pregnancy; a relatives child did not roll over very soon because the parents didn't play with her enough; another relative's child doesn't speak very well because the parents probably don't make him speak; yet another relative's child doesn't sleep well at night because the mother doesn't let the baby sleep. I've also been questioned in a very accusatory tone why one of my babies suffered from infant acne and have heard from more than one person that autism is caused by a lack of discipline from the parents (God help me if I ever have a child with such a diagnosis...it'll clearly be my fault in the eyes of some people in my life). While I know that all of the above accusations are complete garbage, I really don't think it's helpful to mother's for people to be walking around saying such things. Neither of my kids were very fussy babies, but I've been told multiple times when they were crying that it was "because of my stress." Anyways, I digress. The plan is to keep Eli on a high calorie diet for the next month to see how he does, growth-wise. (I'm so jealous!) So he's been getting the once forbidden doughnuts and ice cream before bed. Erich came home from Kroger tonight, excited that somebody had stopped him to start gasping (Erich's words) about how "beautiful" his son is. I told him that I get that all the time - the blonde curls and big green eyes are just precious. And I'm not biased at all :) But what I'm most proud of tonight is that Erich told me that my meatloaf pie is the best thing he's tasted in years. Do I sound like a mid-western housewife??? No seriously, I've been reading the book called "Mennonite in a Little Black Dress." It's a memoir which is not my favorite, but a decent read, in which the author refers to herself as a "mid-life foodie" and contemplates writing a cookbook. It occurred to me that I never pick up a cookbook anymore, and derive great pleasure from inventing my own recipes (it's the little things when you have a 2 year old and a 10 month old). So whatever happens with my job, which is still kinda in limbo, I can always derive happiness in strangers telling me that my kids are beautiful and find my creative outlet in cooking dinner, just as a mid-western-stay-at-home-mom should. I know it's a ridiculous stereotype, but I really think they're on to something.

New Hire!

We FINALLY get to hire somebody at work! I've already scheduled 3 interviews and I think I'm more excited about them than the people who want the jobs. It's been good to be back at the office after all this training, but I'll be back at it in a couple of weeks, and have to commute to and from Lansing :( I got to finalize an adoption on Friday, which makes everything I do worthwhile. I love standing up behind the podium, being sworn in, and making the courtroom break down in tears by my speech about the love between the parents and the child. I rarely get to do it. We spent the weekend in Frankenmuth. Friday night, we had dinner on my parent's patio with my grandparents, my brother, and some of his friends. Then we walked into town. Saturday, I attempted to go shopping in Birch Run, but the stroller I brought for Nolah wouldn't fit into any of the dressing rooms so that effort was thwarted. Erich worked on his grapes, which are being eaten alive by Japanese Beetles. Saturday night, Erich hung out with a friend of his who is in town from Australia. I read Dragon Tatoo and fell asleep early. I have to say that I'm really disappointed with that book - it's just okay for me, a little overhyped, maybe. Sunday, I hit the mall again while Erich took the kids to his parents to swim. I joined them later, but refused to get into the pool due to depression over things that took place in the fitting room. As usual, we got home late Sunday evening, dropped all our stuff, and struggled to get the kids into bed after all the excitement. These trips up north are absolutely exhausting now that we have kids. Ooooh, also I got Nolah's 9 month pictures taken! I had some of them done in a tutu and hair flower I had made myself. When I showed my grandma, she immediately said: "Oh, I don't like that. I'd rather see her in something simple." Erich's mom, as she often does, said: "You almost get better ones with just your own camera." Not only do I disagree with both of them, but I'm really unconcerned with the opinions of others. That's one of the things I like about getting older. I think the tutu pictures are beautiful. This one here is the only one I could get to upload for some reason...not her best, and still not edited.

Where's Leyland?

Today, when I picked Eli & Nolah up from daycare, Eli's first comment to me: "Where's Leyland, Mama? Is he at home barking?" Such a sweetheart. Today was my first day back in the office after my foster care training - things were crazy, as expected. I missed my family so much. I think maybe I was meant to be a stay-at-home mom, except that I'm not a fan of really little babies. At this point, I can sit and chat with Eli all day, and Nolah is super-interactive as well. So I miss them. Also, when I picked Eli up today, he had the SAME shorts and the SAME Cookie Monster underwear I sent him in. You know what that means...no accidents! I should knock on wood, but potty training has been unexpectedly easy. I just put a pair of underwear on him, suggest that maybe he sits on the potty every couple of hours - piece of cake. Now it's bedtime but Eli and Erich are out checking out a tricycle Erich found on craigslist. No phone calls on Leyland yet, so I'm assuming that the heartworm testing went well.

Underwear and Sippy Cups

Eli's been in underwear all weekend and only one accident. His friend Harrison came over on Friday night, showing off his tighty whitey's and it was all over. Eli decided that he was finished with diapers. I am definitely looking forward to cutting out diaper bill in half, but not to spending extra time in public restrooms. Nolah's meeting her own milestones lately - drinking from a sippy cut, saying "Mama" and "Dada" at the appropriate times, responding when we tell her "no" (most of the time), and eating anything we put in front of her. Yesterday, she had blueberries, avacados, peas and raspberries for dinner. This morning, I dug scrambled eggs that had fallen onto the floor out of her mouth (she found them next to the dishwasher and helped herself). We had another laid back weekend. Celebrated TGIF with the Baker's, complete with Key Lime Pie martinis with graham cracker rims, quinoa salad, and bbq salad. Saturday I was suffering with allergies again, but Eli and I returned his library books, and picked out some more. We also used our 33% off coupon at Border's (The Mennonite in a little Black Dress). Erich restocked our house with groceries and worked on the garden. Sunday, we met friends at Kensington Metro Park. They have a great petting zoo there. We saw newborn pigs and the biggest rabbit I've ever seen in my life. Then we biked and looked for turtles in the nature center. Lots of fun.

DHS office

So I've been spending my days at the Redford DHS office, sometimes referred to as the "welfare office" by people outside of line of work. It's literally one of the most depressing places I've ever seen - located at the end of an essentially abandoned strip mall behind a weedy parking lot on the corner of Inkster and Plymouth. There's lots of pregnant teenagers (and some I hope are teenagers but don't possibly look old enough to be in high school), lots of obese people wearing club clothes, men and women with several children in tow - enough to be mistaken as a daycare, and plenty of dilapidated vehicles in the parking lot. Now I'm not putting these people down - not at all. I'm somebody who can see the humanity and life behind every individual and situation; otherwise, I'd never be able to do what I do. I just wanted to comment that I've done things in my life that have proven to be devastating for others - unplanned pregnancy, impulsive spending, drinking more than I should, burning bridges that need not be burned, job hopping, quitting jobs out of nothing more than frustration (etc). Fortunately, my circumstances in life have been such that there has been a safety net, or a stroke of luck, which has led me to where I am today. Had my circumstances been different, my choices may have led me directly to the Redford DHS office - and not as a trainee.

On a brighter note, Eli and Erich took Leyland to the vet's this evening for shots/heartworm testing (results are pending). To my horror, I discovered that he has not been getting heartworm medicine all summer and, with our house backing up to the mosquito infested woods, well...my fears are obvious. Erich came home frustrated that "Eli behaved worse than Leyland" at the vet's office (as if Leyland frequently misbehaves in public). I don't like making excuses for my kid's behavior, but he DID skip his nap at daycare tonight, and he fell asleep in the middle of Horton Hears a Who, which is highly unusual since he loves reading multiple books at night. I made Salmon En Croute and herbed mashed potatoes, both of which he rejected in the form of having a complete temper fit on the kitchen floor. Erich and I and totally divided about the eating issue. I'm of the camp that he can have a bowl of cereal or a sandwich if he doesn't like what I've cooked (what toddler enjoys salmon???). Erich would prefer he starve if he doesn't like what's being served, and went as far as announcing to our children that "Mama's a pushover" tonight at the dinner table out of frustration. It was amusing to me because he's usually the first to give in to any sort of tantrum. I'm realizing more and more what an excellent father he is. He's so patient with the kids (if it doesn't involve dinnertime), and includes Eli on whatever it is he's working on. The other day, I was on the phone with him and was getting frustrated with Eli because he was insisting on putting his HUGE plastic, ride-on giraffe on top of the couch. I was getting increasingly irritated with Eli, and engaging in a complete power struggle over the placement of the toy. Erich said: "You need to give him a place to put it and tell him that's the 'special spot' for his giraffe." Low and behold - it worked. Great social work intervention from Erich. Who would have thought?

Zyrtec

I am writing this with 22 pounds of baby girl (finally!) asleep on my chest. She has been waving bye bye and playing peek-a-boo, which is obviously adorable. Unfortunately, I'm laid up on allergy medication. I don't take it unless I'm absolutely miserable, but the mold must be blooming with all of this humidity. The weekend wasn't a total bust though. Eli, Nolah & I spent Friday night at the Frankenmuth Motor Lodge/Bavarian Inn Lodge with Jenelle and Andersen. The kids loved the pool, and Jenelle and I got to catch up over vodka on the balcony after the kids were in bed. We walked to breakfast at T-Dub's the next morning after a 6:00 am wake-up call from Nolah and ended up being caught in what can only be described as a monsoon on the walk back to the hotel. The kids and I couldn't have been any more wet had we jumped into the pool. Afterwards, the kids and I went out to Murphy Lake for a couple hours to see the Baker's and Lance. We got back to Canton just in time to get the kids in jammies and ship them to daycare, which does a "parent's night" once a month. Erich and I had three blissful hours to ourselves. After dinner at Bahama Breeze (almond crusted salmon, sea scallops, mojitos), we got a table at Grape Expectations, a wine bar in Plymouth where we've been several times. Today is disgustingly hot and humid - Erich and Eli are installing a new faucet in the upstairs bathroom while I sleep off my allergy medication. Homeade pizza for dinner I think...lots of herbs and vegetables in the garden to play with.

Milk and Books and Feel your Hair

Tonight when I went upstairs to tuck Eli in, he had three simple requests: "Mama, I want some milk, AND read books AND let me feel your hair." All three wishes were granted. To clarify, he likes to run my pony tail between his fingers when he is tired or overwhelmed. He is absolutely precious. I got out of my training (I'm going through the State mandated foster care worker training in Redford at the moment) early today and could have had three hours to myself. Instead, I drove to go get my babies at daycare. Nolah weighs about 5 pounds less than her brother, and is an absolute joy as usual. She is going through this kind of frustrating phase of having a complete meltdown whenever I get outside of a 5 foot radius from her. I sometimes pick her up and ask her if she wants to go see her Daddy. She clutches on to me, buries her head into my shoulder, and smirks at Erich as if to say, "Just try to take me from my mama." My kids drive me nuts pretty much every day but I love them to pieces. Have had babies on my mind a lot lately and am starting to think about a third child. Part of me feels guilty - I already have my boy and my girl so why fix what's not broken. On the other hand, I am really not getting the sense that our family is complete.

Will I Ever get to Sleep?

Lots of summer fun but the consequence is that I'm more tired than I have ever been. It's not a "I stayed up too late last night" kind of tired, but the type of exhaustion that happens over time after compounding nights of little or no sleep over weeks and months. It started with Chris and Caleb's birthday party last weekend, which Alicia and I co-hosted. So - much - fun! Lots of chocolate cake, s'mores by the bonfire, margaritas, a half barrel, and brats on the grill. Eli had a great time with Caleb's nieces, and our friend's little girl. The set-up and clean-up were pretty overwhelming though, and Nolah wakes up at 6:00 am whether I make it to bed at 9:00 pm or 2:00 am that night. I started another training through Department of Human Services this week, which means a full time work schedule. Normally, I show up to work when I can get there, which is sometimes not 'til 10:30ish. Not this month - I need to check in to the training sites in Redford or Detroit by 9:00 am sharp. Our old Turkish-German exchange student, Can, is visiting Frankenmuth with his friend, Robin, for several weeks. I met up with them after work on Tuesday at Greektown and we had dinner, went to the Tiger's game (etc) until quite late. Had to make a trip back to Saginaw the next day for training...and the list goes on and on. Erich has school and work obligations more evenings than not lately and it is beyond words how difficult it is to feed, bathe and put to bed Eli and Nolah without any help, particularly after a full work day. So....sigh. Someday I will resume my 7 hour a night regime...someday.

Drop & Dash

We did the drop and dash today. I had court and Erich had a "stop ship" (apparently an emergency in the automotive manufacturing world). Eli had a temperature and was altogether cranky, but we had no choice but to take him to daycare, give him a kiss, and slink out, hoping that nobody would notice his glassy eyes. I called to check on him immediately after court and was told that he was listless and felt warm, so immediately went to pick him up. I took him to urgent care, where he was diagnosed with a mild ear infection. The medication kicked in right away and he was feeling much better. He went into my office with me to take care of some urgent matters, then we went out to lunch at Chili's (although he objected: "Chili's is gross, Mom.") Then we shopped at JoAnne's to get material for Nolah's Halloween costume. It's amazing to me how well behaved he is when he is away from Nolah, and how easy it is to deal with just one child...it's not just half the work, it's somehow a mere fraction of the work. Speaking of fractions, I'm still challenged to figure out how to live on a fraction of our old income now that I'm working part-time and we're paying through the nose for daycare. I'm very proud of my accomplishments this week though. When we were out of cleaning solution, I mixed vinegar, water and Borax, and cleaned the entire downstairs. Tonight, I created a completely edible meal out of half a box of macaroni, frozen ground venison from the freezer, handfulls of oregano, basil and fennel from the garden, a can of tomato sauce from the pantry, and half a container of ricotta that needed to be used up - seriously, delicious. Three years ago, this scenario would have qualified as "there's nothing in the house to eat" and we would have been hightailing it to Bahama Breeze for cubans and cocktails.

My Dog Ate my Blog

This is exactly what I feared - I would get caught up in other things and not make time to keep up with my family blog. I had a bit of a life changing event last night though. I met with new clients which included a ten year old girl who witnessed her mother's murder at the hands of her father within the past year. I really can't imagine too much that's worse than that. The girl's grandmother (and mother of murder victim) gave me a little card with a picture on it that described her daughter - how she did her own plumbing and home improvement projects, how she cooked great meals and how her children were both 4.0 students. It just wasn't enough...I found myself wanting to know so much more about this person, who was victimized by domestic violence, but also had an entire history outside of the victimization. So I hope to be able to record a little more of my family history - as mundane as it is. But I also want to say this: I rarely encounter a family or an individual who has not experienced domestic violence, abuse, (etc) in some capacity. A lot of that has to do with the type of work I do, but a lot of it doesn't. I just want to say that it's still going strong, and it's still primarily women who are being victimized - it's not just something that used to happen in the 60's. I'd like to think society has moved beyond the "Why doesn't she just leave?" mentality but I'm still encountering things that tell me that that's not necessarily true. Why don't we address this more often in school? We address preventing pregnancy, and teach CPR, and require a semester of health education. I have to think that teaching high schoolers about resources and teaching boys about acceptable behavior in a relationship must be just as critical.

McClumpha Park

Had a great dinner at the Baker's last night - Ryan invited us for fresh caught walleye. This morning, my children allowed me to sleep in late, both of them snuggled on either side of me. Then we lathered on the sunscreen and met up with Brooke, Harrison and Sylvia at McClumpha Park. Although we go there regularly, I've never ventured beyond the big playscape until today, when we discovered a nature walk, baseball diamonds, a big pond, and another picnic area - such a great place! Eli loved going down the slides all by himself, and Nolah was content to hang out in the front carrier. I caused some drama this evening when I was about to leave for my office to give a Trauma, Grief and Loss presentation and discovered that my office key was not on my ring. In a complete panic, I emailed everyone at work begging for somebody to call me immediately to let me borrow a key (of course I have nobody's phone numbers because I had lost my cell phone awhile back). Thankfully, Erich found it on another keyring that I must have. I'm completely losing my mind lately. So the training went okay - I felt a little unprepared but not sure what time I had to get anything ready. Off to a finalization hearing in Macomb County in the morning and looking forward to visiting Frankenmuth tomorrow evening.

Weekend update

After a great visit with Holly & Alex last night, we turned in early with plans to visit the Detroit Zoo in the morning. It's essential to get there as early as possible to maximize the time between arrival and the pre-nap meltdown. We were up with the sun and doing the standard running around trying to get out the door, which is becoming increasingly nightmarish as Nolah has entered the "don't you dare put me down" stage, which is accompanied by the "I dare you to walk out of the room" stage. Anyway, we were finally off and arrived at the zoo (which is looking great now that it's tax payer funded, by the way). Eli enjoyed the animals (particularly the peacocks) until about 1:00 pm, when the forementioned tantrum began. Nolah was her usual self - smiling and giggling at anyone who would look at her from her frontcarrier. We came home and spent the rest of the day weeding and planting the front and back yards. Also of interest this weekend, my brother Wes paid a visit. He's just graduated with a pharmacy degree and is entertaining some job offers in the deep South. So, between visits and projects (etc), we had to make a point to leave some things undone, leave the house a mess, and take off to wander the zoo with the kids for a few hours. It was actually pretty hard to make that choice, but I think it's important. It's so easy to get caught up in the tasks in life and ignore what's really important.

Hair Cut

Today was the big day! I reunited with my hairdresser for a cut and highlight. I arrived, was seated in her chair, and after the usual discussion about how much to take off (etc), she said, "So, how's your baby doing?" To this I responded, "Which one?" She looked puzzled for a moment, then said, "You mean, you have more than one baby???" Then it hit me - I had not seen this woman since before I was pregnant with Nolah...which means, I have not had a haircut in over a year and a half. Before having kids, that would have NEVER happened. I routinely had cuts/highlights/manicures and pedicures, always scheduling the next appointment before leaving the salon. After giving me a great cut, and a stern lecture about taking time for myself, she sent me about my day. But I scheduled my next appointment before leaving the salon.

The Best Cup of Coffee

My husband just asked me what is the best cup of coffee I've ever had. I didn't even have to think...it was the cappuchino we had on our last day in Rome, in a neighborhood near our hostel. Sounds so romantic - I can't believe that was less than 3 years ago, a far cry from my cup of coffee this morning, which occurred only after dragging our two year old out of bed, getting into an epic argument about which cereal he would have (Kix or Fruit Loops), changing the 6 month old's diaper, and having the dog once again roll in something dead in the yard and then sprint through the house. We've yet to identify what he is getting into each morning that smells so rank - it seems like we would know about any dead rodents in our postage stamp sized backyard to which he is contained. But back to the coffee...

I'm fairly certain that I felt more content, more fulfilled, and more in love this morning, gulping down my Folger's from the pot than I did that day in Italy, at an outdoor cafe in one of the most romantic and exciting cities in the world. I think that the people, the ones who are cynical about marriage, sometimes maybe don't believe that love really does grow, and gets better with time (as cheesy and clique'd as that sounds). And this all brings me to my point. Today, my husband gave me a brand new laptop for which he spent hours researching and shopping for what would be absolutely perfect for me. He is wonderful in that way. So...I've decided to give blogging another go, if only to provide myself with a record of this moment in time, the best so far.